When you are hurting, there will always be people who find a way to make it about themselves. If you break your wrist, they’ll complain about a sprained ankle. If you are sad, they’re sadder. If you’re asking for help, they’ll demand more attention.
Here is a fact: I was in a hospital and sobbing into my palms when a woman approached me and asked why I was making so much noise and I managed to stutter that my best friend shot himself in the head and now he was 100% certified dead and she made this little grunt and had the nerve to tell me, “Well now you made me sad.”
When you get angry, there are going to be people who ask you to shut up and sit down, and they’re not going to do it nicely. Theirs are the faces that turn bright red before you have a chance to finish your sentence. They won’t ask you to explain yourself. They’ll be mad that you’re mad and that will be their whole reason alone.
Here is a fact: I was in an alleyway a few weeks ago, stroking my friend’s back as she vomited fourteen tequila shots. “I hate men,” she wheezed as her sides heaved, “I hate all of them.”
I braided her hair so it wouldn’t get caught in the mess. I didn’t correct her and reply that she does in fact love her father and her little brother too, that there are strangers she has yet to meet that will be better for her than any of her shitty ex-boyfriends, that half of our group of friends identifies as male - I could hear each of her bruises in those words and I didn’t ask her to soften the blow when she was trying to buff them out of her skin. She doesn’t hate all men. She never did.
She had the misfortune to be overheard by a drunk guy in an ill-fitting suit, a boy trying to look like a man and leering down my dress as he stormed towards us. “Fuck you, lady,” he said, “Fuck you. Not all men are evil, you know.”
“Thanks,” I told him dryly, pulling on her hand, trying to get her inside again, “See you.”
He followed us. Wouldn’t stop shouting. How dare she get mad. How dare she was hurting. “It’s hard for me too!” he yowled after us. “With fuckers like you, how’s a guy supposed to live?”
Here’s a fact: my father is Cuban and my genes repeat his. Once one of my teachers looked at my heritage and said, “Your skin doesn’t look dirty enough to be a Mexican.”
When my cheeks grew pink and my tongue dried up, someone else in the classroom stood up. “You can’t say that,” he said, “That’s fucking racist. We could report you for that.”
Our teacher turned vicious. “You wanna fail this class? Go ahead. Report me. I was joking. It’s my word against yours. I hate kids like you. You think you’ve got all the power - you don’t. I do.”
Later that kid and I became close friends and we skipped class to do anything else and the two of us were lying on our backs staring up at the sky and as we talked about that moment, he sighed, “I hate white people.” His girlfriend is white and so is his mom. I reached out until my fingers were resting in the warmth of his palm.
He spoke up each time our teacher said something shitty. He failed the class. I stayed silent. I got the A but I wish that I didn’t.
Here is a fact: I think gender is a social construct and people that want to tell others what defines it just haven’t done their homework. I personally happen to have the luck of the draw and am the same gender as my sex, which basically just means society leaves me alone about this one particular thing.
Until I met Alex, who said he hated cis people. My throat closed up. I’m not good at confrontation. I avoided him because I didn’t want to bother him.
One day I was going on a walk and I found him behind our school, bleeding out of the side of his mouth. The only thing I really know is how to patch people up. He winced when the antibacterial cream went across his new wounds. “I hate cis people,” he said weakly.
I looked at him and pushed his hair back from his head. “I understand why you do.”
Here is a fact: anger is a secondary emotion. Anger is how people stop themselves from hurting. Anger is how people stop themselves by empathizing.
It is easy for the drunken man to be mad at my friend. If he says “Hey, fuck you, lady,” he doesn’t have to worry about what’s so wrong about men.
It’s easy for my teacher to fail the kids who speak up. If we’re just smart-ass students, it’s not his fault we fuck up.
It’s easy for me to hate Alex for labeling me as dangerous when I’ve never hurt someone a day in my life. But I’m safe in my skin and his life is at risk just by going to the bathroom. I understand why he says things like that. I finally do.
There’s a difference between the spread of hatred and the frustration of people who are hurting. The thing is, when you are broken, there will always be someone who says “I’m worse, stop talking.” There will always be people who are mad you’re trying to steal the attention. There will always be people who get mad at the same time as you do - they hate being challenged. It changes the rules.
I say I hate all Mondays but my sister was born on one and she’s the greatest joy I have ever known. I say I hate brown but it’s really just the word and how it turns your mouth down - the colour is my hair and my eyes and my favorite sweater. I say I hate pineapple but I still try it again every Easter, just to see if it stings less this year. It’s okay to be sad when you hear someone generalize a group you’re in. But instead of assuming they’re evil and filled with hatred, maybe ask them why they think that way - who knows, you might just end up with a new and kind friend.By telling the oppressed that their anger is unjustified, you allow the oppression to continue. I know it’s hard to stay calm. I know it’s scary. But you’re coming from the safe place and they aren’t. Just please … Try to be more understanding. /// r.i.d (via inkskinned)
I am tired, not of arguing in favour of equality, diversity and tolerance, but of having to explain, over and over and over again, why such arguments are still necessary, only to have my evidence casually dismissed by someone too oblivious to realise that their dismissal of the problem is itself a textbook example of the fucking problem. I am tired of being mocked by hypocrites who think that a single lazy counterexample is sufficient to debunk the fifteen detailed examples they demanded I produce before they’d even accept my point as a hypothetical, let alone valid, argument. I am tired of assholes who think that playing Devil’s Advocate about an issue alien to their experience but of deep personal significance to their interlocutor makes them both intellectually superior and more rationally objective on the specious basis that being dispassionate is the same as being right (because if they can stay calm while savagely kicking your open wound, then clearly, you have no excuse for screaming).Foz Meadows from “I Am So Very Tired” in shattersnipe: malcontent & rainbows October 4, 2013 (via nonmono-perspective)
Quick! Which of these men does Lt. Nyota Uhura surpass or equal in rank?
Reading through some Star Trek cosplay blogs and a poster pointed out something (in an off-hand, costuming detail sort of way) that brought me up short because fucking shit, why didn’t I notice that before?
In the reboot films, the short-sleeve dress variant of the uniform worn exclusively by characters the film identifies or codes as women (there are variants with long sleeves and even a full tunic-and-pants combo apparently available as options, but they get minimal screen-time and are mostly in the background or very quick cut-away shots), by the nature of their being short-sleeved, don’t have any place for the wearer to display rank. The long-sleeved versions of the uniform, the kind worn by all of the men in the film, foreground and back, display rank at the cuffs, as was the case with TOS.
So basically, by removing the sleeves of the short dress uniform variant of the standard duty uniform, not introducing any variations on how rank can be displayed, and showing/marketing the few prominent women in the cast almost exclusively in that version of the uniform (with the exception of a few scenes where everyone is in long-sleeved formal uniforms that show ranks in a variety of ways or wearing other issued clothing with no designated ranks for anyone), the Star Trek reboot series ensures that there is no way for the women in its cast to visibly outrank any of the men.
The same holds true for the overwhelming majority of the women in the background. Searching around for pictures for this post, I saw exactly one screencap of a woman wearing long sleeves who wasn’t an ensign (a science-division Orion lieutenant). Regardless of their true rank, by not being able to display their rank women wearing the short-sleeve, short-skirt dress uniform in the new Star Trek movies (whose costumes are the ultimate choice of the filmmakers) will always be read as civilians or ensigns, the most junior of the enlisted members of Starfleet.
Granted the meaning of the braids as they relate to rank aren’t something many in the general public would notice and weren’t highlighted in the way the rank designations were in the various tv series, but dude, JJ.
That’s still fucked up as all hell.
This will eternally bother me.
A competition on Facebook by a male grooming brand to send a Malaysian to a space camp in Florida, USA to train to be an astronaut turned ugly when the only female finalist was “trolled”, drawing sexist comments from netizens.
Post-graduate student Roshini Muniam, who is one of the top five finalists of Axe deodorant’s Apollo Space Race competition, was discriminated against online due to her gender.
A comment posted by Syed Wazien on Roshini’s profile, featured in Axe’s Facebook page, expressed surprise over a woman’s desire to go to space.
“What – a woman?! No way, hose!!!” he said.
Geeky Fredward wrote that Roshini should not compete and must make way for her male counterparts to win the competition.
“Banyak lagi competition untuk female only kat luar tu lady.. (there are many other competitions for females out there, lady) don’t ruin what’s intended or most considered to be men only chance?”
Another commentator, Dimitriy Mirovsky, was more insulting, saying that women should be prohibited from the competition as they menstruate.
“pompuan REJEK…… lelaki sahaje….. kang tampon ang pecah kat langit tu abis rosak space craft tu….. kah kah kah……” (Women should be rejected… it is only for males… if your tampon burst while you are in space, the entire spacecraft will be spoilt… kah kah
This is reminiscent of an incident in the Malaysian parliament in 2007 when controversial Barisan Nasional MP Datuk Bung Mokhtar Radin, in a heated exchange in the Dewan Rakyat with opposition MPs over a leaky roof in Parliament House, said: “Mana ada bocor? Batu Gajah pun bocor tiap-tiap bulan juga. (Where is the leak? The Batu Gajah MP also leaks every month.)”.
Batu Gajah MP Fong Po Kuan and other women MPs were outraged by his comments and he was eventually forced to apologise.
Plucky Roshini, 27, has hit back at the trolls.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. I am all out to win this competition because I want to inspire ordinary people to have extraordinary dreams & goals,” she posted on the page.
The contestants underwent a series of challenges which tested their mental strength and endurance. The pictures of the top five were posted online. Visitors to the page then could vote for their choice.
Some netizens have also come out in her defence, with Rajakumari Rajagopal pointing out that the competition was open to all Malaysians and that she qualified on merit.
“She was the only Malaysian woman who had made her way to the semi-finals and now to the finals. She needs your help and everyone’s help to make her dream come true. Why can’t she have a dream? Why can’t she be given an equal right to participate? Why can’t she be the final person to represent Malaysia. Malaysia Boleh! 1 Malaysia! Hidup Malaysia!”
Rafizal Rahman said Roshini should not be praised and not criticised, pointing out there was already a lot of female astronauts in the world.
The competition closes next Tuesday and the winner will be announced on September 24.
The winner will represent Malaysia in Florida and compete against other nations’ candidates for an opportunity to go to space.
Only 22 people will be selected for the Florida experience.
She’s losing by 20k votes. Let’s fix this.
I can’t find out how to vote!
My quest to spite Steven Moffat may have gotten out of hand. (Quoth Community: “This is how supervillains are created.”)If you’re breathing and use the internet, you’ve probably heard the screaming and debate over whether current Doctor Who showrunner Steven Moffat needs to hire more female writers. And by “more,” I mean “some”: In his three-year, 42-episode tenure, Moffat has not employed a single female writer.Well, you know me. I love getting outraged at Steven Moffat. I want so badly to be able to say, “Fuck you, Steven Moffat. This is fucking ridiculous.” But, sadly, I can’t get outraged without data. Before I could swear delightedly at Moffat, I needed to know whether Moffat is really doing such a bad job, compared to everyone else. What if, as one of the above links suggests, gender inequality on writing staffs is a systemic problem in British sci-fi/fantasy? “Fuck you, British sci-fi/fantasy, this is fucking ridiculous,” is just way less fun to yell.So I started researching the writing staffs of the big sci-fi/fantasy shows: Star Trek. Game of Thrones. Farscape. (It’s big to me, damn it!) And then I started researching the staffs of some other shows of interest: Mad Men. Community. The Walking Dead.And then I thought, Holy fucking hell, selection bias, much?There was only one solution: A comprehensive study of gender equality in British and American television writing.
Since we got on the topic of female writers on Doctor Who tonight, I’d highly recommend that you read this article. They did SCIENCE.
Wow, no, this is the best. They have histograms, people, check this shit out.
I think some parts of the Batman mythos are a little too silly or outlandish to work on film, like the themed, superpowered villains, Robin, and the fact that he has a Bat-everything
Okay, well, let's construct a more realistic, grounded world, limit ourselves to unpowered villains, have people who represent Robin's role in the story without actually wearing red and green tights, and get rid of the "bat" prefix on everything and just let the audience infer that his car is the batmobile and his cave is the batcave.
A lot of people are put off by the fact that Superman is so powerful as to be undefeatable, and they think Kryptonite is a cheap shortcut to get around that. Also, it bothers people that the only things the films show him doing are flying and lifting stuff, and they have a hard time believing everyone just accepts that he's an alien without making a big deal out of it.
Okay, we can work around that. Let's make Superman less omnipotent, match him against an equally powerful villain. Instead of making "he can't use his powers because of Kryptonite," we'll put him in a situation where even his superpowers can't solve everything, and maybe make an ending that's not so morally black-and-white, so you can't really call it a loss or a win, that way he's not undefeatable. Oh, and we'll make it a first contact story, and show the freakout that would happen if a superpowered alien really arrived on Earth!
Green Lantern film:
Green Lantern doesn't really have a very big fanbase, and there's four different Green Lanterns. Everybody who loves Green Lantern has their favorite, and most of them don't really like the other three.
Let's fast-track this thing, and pour lots of money into it. Maybe if the movie does well, we can make other movies that introduce the other Lanterns, and then it will have a huge fanbase!
There's been like a hundred different Flashes and they all have different origins and variations on their powers, and a lot of them have a different source for their powers. Also, the flash has very few popular villains.
Can you have it ready by 2016?
Wonder Woman movie:
Wonder Woman's pretty much always been Diana, an Amazon princess who left her ancient Greek-inspired, all-female homeland. She's a skilled warrior, brilliant in hand-to-hand combat, and is one of DC's most iconic and popular characters. She's got an invisible airplane, but a lot of people think that's silly, so a lot of interpretations show her as just able to fly, or turn it into a plane that can turn invisible, or an invisible projection like the ones made by Green Lantern's ring. Her rogues gallery is also largely mythological, which the popularity of Thor proves is popular with audiences. Because she's a superpowered woman who leaves an all-female utopia to enter our incredibly unequal patriarchal society, her triumph will be all the more satisfying because society doubted her because of her gender. Seeing as half our fans are women, but we always act like none of our fans are women, it would really get us a lot of money to show a movie where the message is that it's wrong to underestimate women, as well as launching a new franchise and building hype for a Justice League film. Plus, Wonder Woman is a fan favorite among both men and women, especially people who watched the "Justice League" cartoon. She's almost universally loved, and the Wonder Woman animated film was one of our best sellers, everybody loved it!
Invisible Plane, you say? There's no way to make that work on screen, and people would be mad if we didn't have it. Besides, there isn't a huge market for a Wonder Woman movie! She doesn't have a clear origin story, not many people are familiar with her. Men won't buy tickets to a superhero movie with a female lead, and we just don't have that many fans who are women! Besides, she's too mythological, it would alienate people! Let's keep saying we're going to make a Wonder Woman movie, but then shelf the project before anyone can actually start to make it.
But we really all want a Wonder Woman movie! Please make one, I don't see why you can't have both a Superman/Batman movie and a Wonder Woman movie! We're begging you, you've just launched the second cinematic Superman franchise, and you're about to launch the third Batman cinematic franchise. Can we at least have the FIRST Wonder Woman franchise?
Pshhh, a Wonder Woman movie is tricky! There's too much stuff we would have to work around, and besides, nobody wants to see one!
It would take no effort to work around those things, and we really want to--
--NOBODY WANTS TO SEE ONE.
George Carlin on Abortion
Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren’t they? They’re all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you’re born, you’re on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.
Conservatives don’t give a shit about you until you reach “military age”. Then they think you are just fine. Just what they’ve been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life… pro-life… These people aren’t pro-life, they’re killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? What, they’ll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it.They’re not pro-life. You know what they are? They’re anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don’t like them. They don’t like women.They believe a woman’s primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state.